The first thing you notice isn’t the uniform.

It’s the way her 10-year-old wraps her arms around her mom’s waist in the airport, refusing to let go. It’s the way he squeezes his spouse’s hand—once, twice—before heading back to duty.

These are military family moments: quiet, meaningful, and part of daily life. They happen among unpacked boxes after a cross-country PCS move. They are seen in parents managing pediatric care, school changes, and deployment schedules. They are felt by the spouse who keeps the household running while their loved one serves.

“For us, what’s hardest is the invisible load,” says Alicia Blevins, a Marine spouse in North Carolina. “I don’t want to dump this on my husband; he’s got men that he’s in charge of. He’s got enough to deal with.”

November brings hashtags, tributes, and words of thanks, but in 2025, military families need more than acknowledgment; they need genuine support. Awareness alone is not enough. Systems must remain stable during disruptions, deployments, and delayed pay.

A Kitchen-Table Crisis: When the Paycheck Isn’t Promised

Since October 1, 2025, the U.S. government has been shut down, the longest shutdown in modern history. For military families, this is more than a headline; it’s about getting by day to day.

Service members report to duty, but their pay is still threatened to be delayed. Civilians supporting the mission face furlough or unpaid work. Millions of families are watching and waiting to see if they can pay November’s rent, childcare, or buy groceries.

“I still check the news every morning,” Alicia says. “We drew down our savings after our PCS. We’re still waiting on nearly $9,000 in reimbursement. Meanwhile, the shutdown keeps dragging.”

It’s not just about pay. Military spouse unemployment has stayed around 21% for almost a decade. Even those with jobs often face underemployment because of frequent moves. This hasn’t changed in years, and shutdowns only add more uncertainty for families.

These challenges aren’t just financial; they impact readiness. When a family isn't stable, the mission is less secure. Understanding these interconnected issues reveals the full picture for military families today.

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The Reality of Military Families in 2025

• According to a recent survey by Blue Star Families, 77% of active-duty military families say that having two incomes is essential for maintaining their financial security in 2025.
• Research shows that spouses who relocated in the past year earned a median income of $31,222 in 2025—nearly 50% lower than the median income of civilian spouses during the same period.
• Frequent moves have been linked to increased anxiety and mental health challenges among both spouses and children in military families, as reported in 2025 family studies.

“Our research shows that issues like spouse unemployment, food insecurity, and childcare gaps are closely linked to mental well-being and force readiness,” says Dr. Lindsay Knight of Blue Star Families. “If the family isn’t stable, the service member isn’t fully focused on the mission.”

How You Can Show Up for Military Families: This Month and Every Month

On Base and in the Community

• Host “Welcome and Stabilize” events after every PCS cycle.
• Provide emergency grants for missed pay, reimbursements, and childcare strain.
• Create peer-based Deployment Resilience Groups for families to access resources and stay connected.
• Deliver “Move-Ready Kits” to newly arrived families with information on school, childcare, behavioral health, and housing transition.

In the Workplace

• Use the 4+1 Military Spouse Hiring Commitment: transferability, remote options, paid PCS leave, flexible hours, and a military liaison.
• Tag job posts as “military-spouse friendly” and treat resume gaps as mobility markers, not red flags.
• Build return-to-career pathways for spouses reentering the workforce after moves or deployments.
• Assign internal champions to review hiring and leave policies around military family needs.

For Every American

• Invite a military family over. Simply ask: “What’s one thing you need this month?”
• Offer childcare, grocery, or meal-prep help when a family experiences a deployment, PCS move, or missed paycheck.
• Sponsor a local family through a verified base connection or community nonprofit.
• Volunteer skills: resumes, interview prep, tutoring, tax help, and care packages.
• Advocate in schools and local government for spouse licensing reciprocity, childcare access, and community support during shutdowns.

What Real Support Feels Like

“Being thought of feels like being seen,” says Army spouse Jennifer Bittner. “You have to be thought of to be used as a pawn. And right now, we’re not being thought of at all.”

In Pflugerville, Texas, Bittner is raising two children, a six-year-old with asthma and a teen with autism, while her husband serves, and the fear of another missed payday looms.

“It’s mentally and sometimes physically exhausting, stressing about this,” she says.

Real support isn’t just for a season. It doesn’t rely on hashtags. It comes through timely actions. It means standing with spouses after a tough week, helping military kids with tutoring, and creating policies that recognize that families serve, too.

This November, and every month after, we have a chance to show that we see and support the backbone of our military: its families. Behind every salute, every folded flag, and every deployment, there is a military family making sacrifices for the protection of our freedom.

They are serving too.

Suggested reads:

• When the Paycheck Stops: How Military Spouses Are Coping During the Shutdown
• Smart PCS Moves: How Digital Tools Are Reducing Military Relocation Stress
• 9 Side Hustles For Military Spouses That Are Actually Paying Off (And How to Start Today)