PCSing While Pregnant or Solo Parenting Can Feel Impossible. Here’s How to Survive It

Labeling boxes with one hand while the other rests on a growing belly is a specific kind of exhaustion. Doing that same task as the only adult in the house because a spouse is underway or forward-deployed adds a new layer of stress. For many military spouses, these two experiences aren't separate; they are part of the same PCS.

PCS moves are already ranked among the most disruptive events in military family life. Layer in pregnancy, a newborn, and trying to manage a household alone while your service member is unavailable, and an already stressful time becomes just that much more overwhelming.

A Move That Was Never Designed Around the Person Carrying It

Military moves are built around orders and structured timelines. This doesn't necessarily mesh well with waves of exhaustion, due dates, or the emotional bandwidth of managing a move by oneself. For spouses who find themselves pregnant during a PCS, the move can be especially stressful, as the actual labor of the PCS often falls on you.

Pregnancy doesn't pause for a move. Neither does morning sickness, third-trimester fatigue, or the anxiety of finding a new OBGYN in an unfamiliar TRICARE network. As a matter of fact, moving and having a baby are widely acknowledged as two of life's biggest individual stressors, and pregnant military spouses are asked to deal with both at once.

Solo parenting during a PCS compounds the load differently. When a service member is on an assignment that keeps them from home during the PCS, the spouse is left behind to absorb everything that keeps the house running: school enrollments, medical record transfers, coordinating a household goods pickup, etc.

Across the board, military families' relocation experiences consistently point to a single thread: spouses lose more than a house when they move. They are often isolated from close friends and family, and must form new relationships while also having to reestablish daily parenting routines. Spouses often take on this role with little support, and sometimes without a partner physically present to share the responsibilities with.

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When the Move Coincides With a New Baby

We talked with a couple of spouses who have been pregnant during a PCS. Overall, they shared that the logistics of the move itself, the medical uncertainty of having to find a new provider mid-pregnancy, and often doing this without their partner present, were some of the hardest parts.

One spouse we talked to shared her experience moving internationally while expecting her third child. She explained that moving while pregnant was overwhelming at times, as she suddenly found herself navigating two very uncertain times at once.

She explained, "PCSing is already a stressful time, but being pregnant added to the stress. You are suddenly facing two stressful life events at once. As spouses, we are used to moving and managing stressful situations, but at times it was very overwhelming."

According to Dr. Sarah Weingarten and Dr. Lauren Osborne,

"Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) are the most common complication of childbirth. When poorly controlled, they are associated with worse obstetric outcomes, such as higher rates of preterm birth and unplanned cesarean delivery."

Perinatal depression and anxiety are already the most common complications of pregnancy and childbirth in the United States. Add relocation stress, loss of an established medical team, and a partner's absence during deployment, training, or a remote assignment, and the risk compounds.

Recent research into maternal mental health during wartime deployment found that pregnant women whose partners were actively deployed were twice as likely to meet criteria for probable depression compared to those whose partner was not deployed, and that deployment-related separation was also linked to greater difficulty bonding with a newborn after birth.

In their conclusion, the researchers noted that isolation, loss of a support system, and an absent partner during a high-stakes life event can serve as a major psychological stressor for pregnant and postpartum women. These stressors, often present during and after a PCS, have a significant impact.

Solo Parenting Isn't Only About Deployment

It's easy to associate "parenting alone" with overseas deployments. However, spouses can face isolation during TDY assignments, extended field exercises, and the PCS season. Any period of time when a service member is unavailable means the entire household becomes one person's responsibility.

When one is left to solo parent on short notice with limited resources, simply holding down a job becomes tough. The childcare system is notoriously strained, with long waitlists at CDCs and high costs for care alternatives. When a service member leaves, the spouse must frequently cover childcare gaps out of pocket or risk losing their employment. It is the sudden financial and emotional toll that leads to greater strain.

This lack of a fallback system is why isolation is cited consistently in military lifestyle surveys. Spouses routinely cite the loss of their local support networks as one of the top stressors affecting their overall quality of life.

What Actually Helps

None of this means military spouses are without options, but the options tend to require someone to actively seek them out, often when they are overwhelmed.

“One of the biggest things that got me through pregnancy during military life was realizing that I wasn’t meant to do it alone,” said Sarah Jaudon, a former military spouse who went through pregnancy while her husband was deployed.

“Even when my spouse or family couldn’t be there, having people I trusted, whether it was a close friend, another military spouse, or a counselor, made all the difference. Having someone who understood what I was going through reminded me that I wasn’t carrying it all by myself.”

A few resources consistently surface as genuinely useful for pregnant or solo-parenting spouses navigating a move. The first is the New Parent Support Program. The program offers free, confidential home visits from registered nurses and licensed clinical social workers for expecting parents and families with children up to age 3.

The second is military and family life counselors. Military and Family Support Centers offer free, non-medical counseling available at installation Military and Family Support Centers.

Lastly, SpouseWorks offers career coaching to help offset the employment disruption that happens after a move. Tapping into these resources before you feel overwhelmed and underprepared for the challenges ahead is the best way to stay ahead.

“Build your support system before you need it,” said Jaudon. “Reach out, make connections, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone, and you shouldn’t have to.”

Talkspace Offers Support Through the Transition

Logistics checklists and installation programs can help with the practical side of a PCS. But the emotional weight of moving while pregnant often doesn't resolve itself once the boxes are unpacked. That kind of stress deserves its own kind of support; one that doesn't require a spouse to wait for a referral, drive to an appointment with a newborn, or find childcare just to talk to someone.

Talkspace allows military spouses to connect with licensed mental health providers from wherever they are: a half-unpacked house, a hospital room, or a living room. When life feels so overwhelming that the thought of getting out the door, or even to the laundry room, causes panic, Talkspace has you covered.

With flexible virtual therapy options, Talkspace helps you get the support you need whenever or wherever you need it. So the next time you feel overwhelmed about the thought of parenting alone, or just life in general, remember that you don't have to have everything figured out, and that you certainly are never alone.

This article is a result of a collaboration with Talkspace.