REBUILDING & RECONNECTING: ESSENTIAL TIPS FOR MILSPOUSES NAVIGATING POST-DEPLOYMENT LIFE
Life after deployment can feel like a collision of joy, exhaustion, and uncertainty. While there’s relief and celebration when your partner returns, it’s also a moment when patterns shift again—routines you built on your own now need to flex to fit two people, or a whole family, back together.
This transition is often more emotionally layered than people expect—and you’re not alone in that. Whether it’s navigating communication, sharing parenting responsibilities again, or making space for your own feelings, reintegration takes time, support, and sometimes help from professionals who understand the military lifestyle.
That’s why many military spouses are turning to Talkspace, a TRICARE-covered mental health platform offering therapy and psychiatry from the comfort of your phone. Whether it’s individual stress, family dynamics, or just needing someone to talk to, support is available now—no long waits, no commuting, and no cost with TRICARE coverage.
Below are five practical, heartfelt tips to help guide your family through this new chapter. Keep in mind: asking for support isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s how we move forward stronger, together.
Tip #1: Enjoy the Honeymoon Period
Your partner is home. They may have time off post deployment, and you can spend that time enjoying life together as a family.
The honeymoon stage, post-deployment, can last a day for some families, and for others it can last a few weeks. While the honeymoon stage, where everything seems perfect and everyone is just happy to be together again, is only a stage, it should be enjoyed.
Eventually, real life will make an appearance, and you will have to figure out how to live life again as a couple or family. But there is no need to rush past the enjoyment stage, bask in the fact you survived a deployment and your partner is finally home.
Tip #2: Set Clear Boundaries
Besides your core family, friends and extended family are also excited that your service member is home. But setting boundaries to ensure your family is taken care of is so important.
Lindsay Swodoba, author of Holding On and Letting Go, said, “Everyone’s excited to have the deployed person back, but priorities need to be made on helping the immediate family reintegrate as well as the children if there are any. Let in-laws and everyone else know that you might need a little space to support him in order to feel like you can be back at a healthy place.”
Making sure that extended family and friends know how important it is for your family to reintegrate is a must. It can mean asking family not to visit right away after a deployed member comes home.
If extended family members decide to come, ask them to stay in a hotel so your family can have alone time to be a core unit. These conversations are not easy, but they are so important.
Tip #3: Communication is Key
The one advice I receive and give as a military spouse is how important it is to talk to your partner regularly. It is easy for life to get so busy that you forget to set aside time to talk to your partner.
This is essential to being a military couple. After being separated for so long, it can be hard to set aside time to talk about life.
Set aside time to talk as a couple, even if it is only for 15 minutes every day. This habit will help you reconnect and stay connected as you begin to navigate life together again.
Communication Is a Two-Way Street
Often when a service member comes home, the communication is focused on the person who deployed, not the military spouse's experience.
But military spouses who are left behind to take care of the family may also have experienced challenges during the deployment. That is why it is so important to talk to your partner about these challenges.
Let your partner know about the things they missed while they were gone, while also allowing your partner to share about their experience being deployed.
Give Children Space to Talk
Just like military spouses have their own experience while one parent is gone, military children experience challenges navigating life without mom or dad at home.
Giving children space to talk about their feelings and what they experienced is important. However, it will likely take time. Don’t be discouraged if at first they are not ready to talk.
Don’t Be Afraid to Get Outside Help
Sometimes, it can be hard to talk about your experiences while apart. All parts of a military family may need additional help, either through individual or group therapy.
Military spouses, military children, and service members all can experience different challenges when it comes to deployment. It can be difficult to talk about or even know where to start.
Getting outside help through therapy is crucial in helping everyone navigate forward.
Make a Conscious Effort to Involve Your Partner
Include Your Partner in Household Chores
It is important that your spouse feels they are an important member of the family. Designate chores around the house that they can do. It is easier to just communicate with your spouse areas you need help with instead of hoping they will see what needs to be done.
This allows them to see how important and valuable they are to your family. It doesn’t have to be something big, like a household project. Instead, including them in little ways can help make your life easier, and can help bring them back to being part of the family.
For example, putting away dishes, clearing the table, loading the dishwasher, folding laundry, the list goes on.
Your partner is walking back into a world where your family has had to manage without their support. Therefore, telling them how they can contribute takes stress away for the both of you.
Make an Effort to Include Your Partner in Parenting
It can take a conscious effort to integrate your partner back into parenting. Every time your spouse leaves for an extended period of time, the relationship between your children and you as parents has changed.
Including your partner in challenging problems your children are trying to navigate through isn’t easy, but it is so important that they are included.
It requires you to first communicate with your partner and also remind your children that their dad/mom can help in various situations. They do not only need to go to the parent who has been home.
Know There Are Highs and Lows When It Comes to Reintegration
Reintegration is the fancy word the military uses for readjusting to life after a deployment. It can be a roller coaster for so many reasons.
The emotional highs and lows, the good and bad days, the challenges seen and unforeseen. Know that it is normal to feel like life is always in flux, and for it not to be easy.
Sometimes reintegrations are easier than others, though you often won’t be able to predict what challenges are ahead.
Military Members Can Often Pull Away
Depending on the deployment experience, a family might find their service member pulling away.
Stacy Rush, a trauma therapist and founder of Trauma Solutions Counseling who focuses her work on supporting Special Operations Forces (SOF) Veterans and their families shared, “Many service members return emotionally shut down, not because they don’t care, but because emotional suppression was adaptive during deployment.”
Family members can feel that their service member isn’t happy to be home or mad at them, especially children. Partners can also feel that they are being rejected by their service member.
It is important to understand these challenges as a military spouse so that you can recognize these behaviors in your spouse and communicate with them.
It is also important to remember that you and your spouse have been living two separate stories, and now you have to align with one another again.
Lindsay says, “It takes a great deal of patient communication. Sometimes that can’t be navigated alone. It’s wise to think about counseling, especially in regards to marriage if there needs to be a safe space created for the partners to talk.”
You Are Not Alone. Talkspace Can Help
Your family doesn’t have to navigate this alone. TRICARE supports a wide range of mental health services for both individuals and families. When your spouse comes home from a deployment, it can be a challenging time for so many reasons—help is available, and it's covered.
Getting mental health support should be simple—and with Talkspace, it is. As an in-network provider with TRICARE, Talkspace offers therapy and psychiatry services that are fully covered for many military families, including spouses, teens (13+), and active-duty dependents.
Whether you’re managing stress, relationship challenges, or just need someone to talk to, you can connect with a licensed therapist right from your phone—anytime, anywhere. No long waits, no commuting, and no added costs when using TRICARE-covered providers.
Their team understands the military lifestyle and the unique pressures that come with it. They’re here to help you take that first step toward feeling more grounded, supported, and connected.
Available in all 50 states, sign up for Talkspace today to take advantage of the many benefits of online therapy and enjoy the care you deserve, affordably.
This article is part of a paid partnership with Talkspace.
Suggested reads:
